Things you would love to say out loud at work

Joined: 08 Sep 2003 Location: left of center

. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to
pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in
public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my
way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're
saying.
10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point
of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely
coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, & disorder -- my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.

Joined: 29 May 2003 Location: hidin frm da wiminz!!!

I gonna use them ones.............. Cool

I lets yous now what the outcome of each is #Rofl

Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2003 9:31 am

It's all too new-age-metro-man for me...

Reminds me of a song from Skyhooks...

Titled "Why doncha all get *ucked"...

Joined: 22 Oct 2002 Location: Melbourne

being in a corporate environment - i can have a big laugh at these lines. i hate people that constantly use corporate cliches - and get them wrong!

Joined: 08 Sep 2003 Location: left of center

Yep i work with "wannabe's" all day 23 years old on $30k a year drivingf a 30 year old BMW drinking cappacino's by the ton in expencive suits and backstabbing the shit out of each other all day lololo, that is the life ! I alway's say "why be politically correct when you can be right " but sometimnes you need to speak their lanuage with a touch of sarcasm so 3 hours after work when they are relaxed in front of their tv the penny drops , you can tell the next day when they walk in with the WTF written all over their faces and run to the water jug to ask their phoney friends what i ment lolololololol I find that the funniest cause yesterday they were busy patting their mate on the back with a knife Very Happy

Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Location: Gympie

I could say a lot of those to clients but due to workplace regulations it restricts me Laughing

Joined: 08 Sep 2003 Location: left of center

When interveiwing people and asking "uncomfortable "questions they generally say "are you calling me a liar" and i say no i just don't think your TOTALLY FORTHCOMMING , and they always say oh well thats ok then lololololololllololololo Very Happy

Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2003 10:29 am

Seriously, there is a term for what you have written here - it is called BRAINSPEAK. This is the language that you talk inside your head, how you think, and derive conclusions and solutions. The communication centre in your brain (centralised for women, non centralised for men) is what deciphers the brainspeak code and then you say/act from there. Some people have the inability to decipher the code and tend to brainspeak a lot. Brainspeak is good, if used wisely.

Joined: 29 May 2003 Location: hidin frm da wiminz!!!

Area54 wrote:

Seriously, there is a term for what you have written here - it is called BRAINSPEAK. This is the language that you talk inside your head, how you think, and derive conclusions and solutions. The communication centre in your brain (centralised for women, non centralised for men) is what deciphers the brainspeak code and then you say/act from there. Some people have the inability to decipher the code and tend to brainspeak a lot. Brainspeak is good, if used wisely.