Thank You, from The Police force

Joined: 19 Aug 2007 Location: Brisbane

Dear Civilian,

Your 5 year old kid getting pushed over by another 5 year old kid is NOT a police matter; talk to the other kid's parents, not the police.

If you find an empty beer bottle on your front lawn in the morning, chances are you need a rubbish bin, not the police.

If your kid won't do his homework, 000 is not the answer.

We know you've had more than two beers. When I've had two beers, I don't hit six parked cars, drive my car through the front doors of an OfficeWorks, piss my pants or pass out at a traffic light.

When you see an emergency vehicle behind you with its lights and sirens on, pull to the left, and stop. We usually prefer to pass cars on the right.

When you're driving in the fast lane and you see the police behind you, don't go 10 km/h under the speed limit. We are not impressed by how safe of a driver you can be, we're trying to help someone (or catch that guy in the Commodore/Skyline that just cut you off). Safely move over and let us pass please.

If we park our police car across the road with the red and blue lights flashing, don't ask if the road is closed or if there is an accident, just take an alternate route and DON'T DRIVE AROUND US!

If you get a warning instead of a ticket from a Traffic Management Unit officer, you should consider buying a lottery ticket.

If you have a minor car accident, and you swap you name and address with the other driver, and there are no injuries or traffic obstructions, you do not need the police. You need an insurance company, that's all.

When you see a police officer conducting a traffic stop, or with an offender in handcuffs, it is generally not a good idea to approach him and ask for directions. If you do, don't expect the officer to be nice when he tells you to go away, and don't expect the officer to take the time to explain.

Here's how to get out of a ticket. Don't break the law.

If you drive a piece of shit, that is why you're getting pulled over.

If you've just been pulled over doing 100 in a 60 zone, do not greet the officer with, "What seems to be the problem, officer?"

We get coffee breaks too. We are allowed to eat on-duty.

When you're the victim of a burglary, take the time you spend waiting for the police, to find the model numbers and the serial numbers of the stuff that was taken.

If it's night time and you're driving a vehicle with tinted windows and police pull you over, it's not because of your skin colour. Police usually can't tell if the vehicle even has a driver until the window's rolled down. And we're not "picking on you" because of your ethnicity / skin colour / gender identification / religion. We're picking on you because you broke the law.

Every time you hear on the news about people running away from a crazed gunman, someone's son or daughter in a police uniform is running TOWARD that crazed gunman.

Everyone knows that the police helicopter is loud and annoying, but did you know it can cover the same area as 20 patrol units and safely chase criminals that are driving 120 km/h through suburban streets? Many times the guy has no idea it's there and slows down. A nifty gadget called the FLIR even lets the helicopter crew follow a car with no headlights at night time.

Police work is ... writing reports. Police work is also ... sitting in court for hours.

If you rob a petrol station you're only going to get about $100. But police get to see a K9 unit use your arm as a chew-toy. For all we care you can keep the $100.

In one year of patrol work in Melbourne, only about ten minutes would be cool enough to be on the television show Cops.

Every traffic stop could end in death or serious injury, but police have to be polite and professional at all times.

I've taken about the same amount of men and women to court for family violence, so NO, it's not always the man.

If the light was yellow, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

Cops know you pay taxes and that your taxes pay cops' salaries. Cops also pay taxes, which also pay cops' salaries so, hey, this penalty notice is on me. Do not protest by saying, "I pay your taxes." You don't, I pay my taxes.

Police Officers... our job is to protect your arse, not kiss it!

Thank You,
from The Police FORCE

saw this on another forum, thought it deserved a cut/past.
even though most of you seem like upright citizens.

Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Location: Texas Qld BANNED

Dear Police,

You are a Civillian, HTFU or quit

Thank you
From Civillian

Joined: 10 Jun 2004 Location: North West Qld

I think most cops would feel a bit crook in the guts reading this.....

I do.

Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 8:56 pm

Frankeh wrote:

If you find an empty beer bottle on your front lawn in the morning, chances are you need a rubbish bin, not the police.

NO, INCORRECT! You will need to become a Vigilante and shot the next Single Mother that stops in front of your house to have a yelling fight with the father of her next borne kid that at the same time empties the all the junk food trash and beer bottles from the double pram onto your lawn!

Joined: 10 Jun 2004 Location: North West Qld

v6hilux wrote:

Frankeh wrote:

If you find an empty beer bottle on your front lawn in the morning, chances are you need a rubbish bin, not the police.

NO, INCORRECT! You will need to become a Vigilante and shot the next Single Mother that stops in front of your house to have a yelling fight with the father of her next borne kid that at the same time empties the all the junk food trash and beer bottles from the double pram onto your lawn!

tool

Joined: 29 Jul 2007 Location: Found

Barnsey wrote:

v6hilux wrote:

Frankeh wrote:

If you find an empty beer bottle on your front lawn in the morning, chances are you need a rubbish bin, not the police.

NO, INCORRECT! You will need to become a Vigilante and shot the next Single Mother that stops in front of your house to have a yelling fight with the father of her next borne kid that at the same time empties the all the junk food trash and beer bottles from the double pram onto your lawn!

tool

x2

Joined: 31 May 2005 Location: Sydney

Frankeh wrote:

If the light was yellow, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

I beg to differ. I got pulled over on the way to work one morning (around 3am) for "running an orange light". Cops words.

I explained that I thought going through an orange was legal and he said that it was only legal if you could not stop safely before it turned red. I told him that it was news to me, which it was, and apologized. He let me off.

great story hey, Im sure it was cool enough for Cops.

Joined: 26 Oct 2002 Location: Ringwood East, VIC

WOW!

Never looked at it that way. Those poor Police, being the only job that has to deal with dickheads ... never realised how good I have it ... Rolling Eyes

<--- Refer avatar for post clarification.

Joined: 31 May 2005 Location: Sydney

Frankeh wrote:

Dear Civilian,

Your 5 year old kid getting pushed over by another 5 year old kid is NOT a police matter; talk to other outers members, they have the answer.

If you find an empty beer bottle on your front lawn in the morning, chances are it was put there by another outers member. Start new thread calling them out.

If your kid won't do his homework, backhand them.

We know you've had more than two beers. When I've had two beers, I don't hit six parked cars, drive my car through the front doors of an OfficeWorks, piss my pants and pass out at a traffic light. Come to think of it, is your name Barnsey by any chance?

When you see an emergency vehicle behind you with its lights and sirens on, pull to the left, and stop, unless there a fire trail you can get up but they cant nearby, in that case, go for it man!

When you're driving in the fast lane and you see the police behind you, go 10 km/h under the speed limit. It'll probably piss them right off.

If we park our police car across the road with the red and blue lights flashing, don't ask if the road is closed or if there is an accident, just take an alternate route and DON'T DRIVE AROUND US! Also dont expect a civil answer to your query as to why they have closed the road, been a mod on outers does not carry the same weight in the "real" world.

If you get a warning instead of a ticket from a Traffic Management Unit officer, you should consider buying a lottery ticket. The fact that you just received a warning for not breaking the law is irrelevant.

If you have a minor car accident, and you swap you name and address with the other driver, and there are no injuries or traffic obstructions, you do not need the police. You need an insurance company, that's all. You should also get a bullbar for next time.

When you see a police officer conducting a traffic stop, or with an offender in handcuffs, it is generally not a good idea to approach him and ask for directions. Asking him if he is RoadNazi is completely acceptable though.

Here's how to get out of a ticket. Don't break the law........Hahahaha we almost had you didnt we. No seriously, we can pretty much hand them out to whoever we like.

If you drive a piece of shit, that is why you're getting pulled over. Because wealthy people are better than everyone else, just ask fourbyconvert.

If you've just been pulled over doing 100 in a 60 zone, do not greet the officer with, "What seems to be the problem, officer?" Instead, start shouting that you want his badge number as you are a close friend of RoadNazi's and will have him kicked off the force. Shit dude, 100 in a 60? what have you got to lose?

We get coffee breaks too. We are allowed to eat on-duty. I am not suprised, alot of coppers are pretty hefty.

When you're the victim of a burglary, take the time you spend waiting for the police, to find the model numbers and the serial numbers of the stuff that was taken. You should have about 36 hours between placing the call and time of arrival.

If it's night time and you're driving a vehicle with tinted windows and police pull you over, it's not because of your skin colour. Police usually can't tell if the vehicle even has a driver until the window's rolled down. And we're not "picking on you" because of your ethnicity / skin colour / gender identification / religion. We're picking on you because you broke the law. Yes AJFeroza, having unrestrained "kids" in the car IS illegal!

Every time you hear on the news about people running away from a crazed gunman, someone's son or daughter in a police uniform is running TOWARD that crazed gunman. There will be a 15 page thread on outers attempting to explain this apparent lack of sense amongst our law enforcement officials. Chimpboy will use many many big words.

Everyone knows that the police helicopter is loud and annoying, but did you know it can cover the same area as 20 patrol units and safely chase criminals that are driving 120 km/h through suburban streets? If those criminals choose to drive at 140km/h though, the helicopter becomes a 2.4million dollar paperweight. Grimbo will defend their right to own it.

Police work is ... writing reports. Police work is also ... sitting in court for hours. So you pretty much just sit on your arses all day? No great suprise there though hey.

If you rob a petrol station you're only going to get about $100. But police get to see a K9 unit use your arm as a chew-toy. For all we care you can keep the $100. So you dont actually care about the victim losing their cash, you just want to see someone get hurt? Have you considered a career in the AFL or league?

In one year of patrol work in Melbourne, only about ten minutes would be cool enough to be on the television show Cops. Melbourne, officially Australias most uncool city............Apart from Adelaide.

Every traffic stop could end in death or serious injury, but police have to be polite and professional at all times. This is not a rule as such, more of a guideline. Perhaps guideline is a little strong......suggestion maybe?.......I got it! An absolute steaming pile of horse shit! Yes, thats it.

I've taken about the same amount of men and women to court for family violence, so NO, it's not always the man. Grimace says otherwise and when it comes to men, nobody knows more.

If the light was yellow, we wouldn't be having this conversation. If the light was green, we also wouldn't be having this conversation. Im so lonely 2/3rds of the time......sniff.

Cops know you pay taxes and that your taxes pay cops' salaries. Cops also pay taxes, which also pay cops' salaries so, hey, this penalty notice is on me. Do not protest by saying, "I pay your taxes." You don't, I pay my taxes. This is more confusing than a red_zook soliloquy. What the fark did you just say?

Police Officers... our job is to protect your arse, by spending more time and money cracking down on traffic infringements than arresting criminals. If there was revenue in arse kissing, rest assured, we'd be doing it!

Thank You,
from The Police FORCE

No really, thank you.

Fixed.

Joined: 28 Jul 2006 Location: melbourne

Quote:

If you have a minor car accident, and you swap you name and address with the other driver, and there are no injuries or traffic obstructions, you do not need the police. You need an insurance company, that's all.

it used to be that the police attended these things, and i think that they still should. if you get 1 tool driver that has 5 accidents and the police DONT attend, he is still on the road driving like a tool and possibly going to kill someone.
but.......if the police attend the scene, he gets a negligent driving ticket and loses points, lose enough points lose your license, lose your license and keep driving, got to jail. no more tool on the road.

Joined: 03 Mar 2003 Location: St Helena, Melbourne.

v840 wrote:

Frankeh wrote:

Dear Civilian,

Your 5 year old kid getting pushed over by another 5 year old kid is NOT a police matter; talk to other outers members, they have the answer.

If you find an empty beer bottle on your front lawn in the morning, chances are it was put there by another outers member. Start new thread calling them out.

If your kid won't do his homework, backhand them.

We know you've had more than two beers. When I've had two beers, I don't hit six parked cars, drive my car through the front doors of an OfficeWorks, piss my pants and pass out at a traffic light. Come to think of it, is your name Barnsey by any chance?

When you see an emergency vehicle behind you with its lights and sirens on, pull to the left, and stop, unless there a fire trail you can get up but they cant nearby, in that case, go for it man!

When you're driving in the fast lane and you see the police behind you, go 10 km/h under the speed limit. It'll probably piss them right off.

If we park our police car across the road with the red and blue lights flashing, don't ask if the road is closed or if there is an accident, just take an alternate route and DON'T DRIVE AROUND US! Also dont expect a civil answer to your query as to why they have closed the road, been a mod on outers does not carry the same weight in the "real" world.

If you get a warning instead of a ticket from a Traffic Management Unit officer, you should consider buying a lottery ticket. The fact that you just received a warning for not breaking the law is irrelevant.

If you have a minor car accident, and you swap you name and address with the other driver, and there are no injuries or traffic obstructions, you do not need the police. You need an insurance company, that's all. You should also get a bullbar for next time.

When you see a police officer conducting a traffic stop, or with an offender in handcuffs, it is generally not a good idea to approach him and ask for directions. Asking him if he is RoadNazi is completely acceptable though.

Here's how to get out of a ticket. Don't break the law........Hahahaha we almost had you didnt we. No seriously, we can pretty much hand them out to whoever we like.

If you drive a piece of shit, that is why you're getting pulled over. Because wealthy people are better than everyone else, just ask fourbyconvert.

If you've just been pulled over doing 100 in a 60 zone, do not greet the officer with, "What seems to be the problem, officer?" Instead, start shouting that you want his badge number as you are a close friend of RoadNazi's and will have him kicked off the force. Shit dude, 100 in a 60? what have you got to lose?

We get coffee breaks too. We are allowed to eat on-duty. I am not suprised, alot of coppers are pretty hefty.

When you're the victim of a burglary, take the time you spend waiting for the police, to find the model numbers and the serial numbers of the stuff that was taken. You should have about 36 hours between placing the call and time of arrival.

If it's night time and you're driving a vehicle with tinted windows and police pull you over, it's not because of your skin colour. Police usually can't tell if the vehicle even has a driver until the window's rolled down. And we're not "picking on you" because of your ethnicity / skin colour / gender identification / religion. We're picking on you because you broke the law. Yes AJFeroza, having unrestrained "kids" in the car IS illegal!

Every time you hear on the news about people running away from a crazed gunman, someone's son or daughter in a police uniform is running TOWARD that crazed gunman. There will be a 15 page thread on outers attempting to explain this apparent lack of sense amongst our law enforcement officials. Chimpboy will use many many big words.

Everyone knows that the police helicopter is loud and annoying, but did you know it can cover the same area as 20 patrol units and safely chase criminals that are driving 120 km/h through suburban streets? If those criminals choose to drive at 140km/h though, the helicopter becomes a 2.4million dollar paperweight. Grimbo will defend their right to own it.

Police work is ... writing reports. Police work is also ... sitting in court for hours. So you pretty much just sit on your arses all day? No great suprise there though hey.

If you rob a petrol station you're only going to get about $100. But police get to see a K9 unit use your arm as a chew-toy. For all we care you can keep the $100. So you dont actually care about the victim losing their cash, you just want to see someone get hurt? Have you considered a career in the AFL or league?

In one year of patrol work in Sydney, only about ten minutes would be cool enough to be on the television show Cops. SYDNEY, officially Australias G.H.E.Y.E.S.T. city............Apart from Adelaide.

Every traffic stop could end in death or serious injury, but police have to be polite and professional at all times. This is not a rule as such, more of a guideline. Perhaps guideline is a little strong......suggestion maybe?.......I got it! An absolute steaming pile of horse shit! Yes, thats it.

I've taken about the same amount of men and women to court for family violence, so NO, it's not always the man. Grimace says otherwise and when it comes to men, nobody knows more.

If the light was yellow, we wouldn't be having this conversation. If the light was green, we also wouldn't be having this conversation. Im so lonely 2/3rds of the time......sniff.

Cops know you pay taxes and that your taxes pay cops' salaries. Cops also pay taxes, which also pay cops' salaries so, hey, this penalty notice is on me. Do not protest by saying, "I pay your taxes." You don't, I pay my taxes. This is more confusing than a red_zook soliloquy. What the fark did you just say?

Police Officers... our job is to protect your arse, by spending more time and money cracking down on traffic infringements than arresting criminals. If there was revenue in arse kissing, rest assured, we'd be doing it!

Thank You,
from The Police FORCE

No really, thank you.

Fixed.

And fixed for NSW patrons. #Rofl

Joined: 29 Aug 2005 Location: western shitney

v840 wrote:

Frankeh wrote:

If the light was yellow, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

I beg to differ. I got pulled over on the way to work one morning (around 3am) for "running an orange light". Cops words.

I explained that I thought going through an orange was legal and he said that it was only legal if you could not stop safely before it turned red. I told him that it was news to me, which it was, and apologized. He let me off.

great story hey, Im sure it was cool enough for Cops.

i got pulled over by a stormtrooper once for the same thing.
i had to ask him twice if he said orange or red, and he said at an orange light you must stop Confused

so i asked him why dont they just have a red light and a green light?
he didnt like that question and just replied with "i dont make the law, i am the law" Rolling Eyes

and got back on his bike.

Joined: 29 Jul 2007 Location: Found

Be nice if you could highlight the changes so I don't have to read the bloody thing 3 times. Smile

Joined: 05 Feb 2005 Location: Check your six.

Started in the US...

Joined: 03 Sep 2006 Location: where ever the track takes me

v840 wrote:

Frankeh wrote:

Dear Civilian,

Your 5 year old kid getting pushed over by another 5 year old kid is NOT a police matter; talk to other outers members, they have the answer.

If you find an empty beer bottle on your front lawn in the morning, chances are it was put there by another outers member. Start new thread calling them out.

If your kid won't do his homework, backhand them.

We know you've had more than two beers. When I've had two beers, I don't hit six parked cars, drive my car through the front doors of an OfficeWorks, piss my pants and pass out at a traffic light. Come to think of it, is your name Barnsey by any chance?

When you see an emergency vehicle behind you with its lights and sirens on, pull to the left, and stop, unless there a fire trail you can get up but they cant nearby, in that case, go for it man!

When you're driving in the fast lane and you see the police behind you, go 10 km/h under the speed limit. It'll probably piss them right off.

If we park our police car across the road with the red and blue lights flashing, don't ask if the road is closed or if there is an accident, just take an alternate route and DON'T DRIVE AROUND US! Also dont expect a civil answer to your query as to why they have closed the road, been a mod on outers does not carry the same weight in the "real" world.

If you get a warning instead of a ticket from a Traffic Management Unit officer, you should consider buying a lottery ticket. The fact that you just received a warning for not breaking the law is irrelevant.

If you have a minor car accident, and you swap you name and address with the other driver, and there are no injuries or traffic obstructions, you do not need the police. You need an insurance company, that's all. You should also get a bullbar for next time.

When you see a police officer conducting a traffic stop, or with an offender in handcuffs, it is generally not a good idea to approach him and ask for directions. Asking him if he is RoadNazi is completely acceptable though.

Here's how to get out of a ticket. Don't break the law........Hahahaha we almost had you didnt we. No seriously, we can pretty much hand them out to whoever we like.

If you drive a piece of shit, that is why you're getting pulled over. Because wealthy people are better than everyone else, just ask fourbyconvert.

If you've just been pulled over doing 100 in a 60 zone, do not greet the officer with, "What seems to be the problem, officer?" Instead, start shouting that you want his badge number as you are a close friend of RoadNazi's and will have him kicked off the force. Shit dude, 100 in a 60? what have you got to lose?

We get coffee breaks too. We are allowed to eat on-duty. I am not suprised, alot of coppers are pretty hefty.

When you're the victim of a burglary, take the time you spend waiting for the police, to find the model numbers and the serial numbers of the stuff that was taken. You should have about 36 hours between placing the call and time of arrival.

If it's night time and you're driving a vehicle with tinted windows and police pull you over, it's not because of your skin colour. Police usually can't tell if the vehicle even has a driver until the window's rolled down. And we're not "picking on you" because of your ethnicity / skin colour / gender identification / religion. We're picking on you because you broke the law. Yes AJFeroza, having unrestrained "kids" in the car IS illegal!

Every time you hear on the news about people running away from a crazed gunman, someone's son or daughter in a police uniform is running TOWARD that crazed gunman. There will be a 15 page thread on outers attempting to explain this apparent lack of sense amongst our law enforcement officials. Chimpboy will use many many big words.

Everyone knows that the police helicopter is loud and annoying, but did you know it can cover the same area as 20 patrol units and safely chase criminals that are driving 120 km/h through suburban streets? If those criminals choose to drive at 140km/h though, the helicopter becomes a 2.4million dollar paperweight. Grimbo will defend their right to own it.

Police work is ... writing reports. Police work is also ... sitting in court for hours. So you pretty much just sit on your arses all day? No great suprise there though hey.

If you rob a petrol station you're only going to get about $100. But police get to see a K9 unit use your arm as a chew-toy. For all we care you can keep the $100. So you dont actually care about the victim losing their cash, you just want to see someone get hurt? Have you considered a career in the AFL or league?

In one year of patrol work in Melbourne, only about ten minutes would be cool enough to be on the television show Cops. Melbourne, officially Australias most uncool city............Apart from Adelaide.

Every traffic stop could end in death or serious injury, but police have to be polite and professional at all times. This is not a rule as such, more of a guideline. Perhaps guideline is a little strong......suggestion maybe?.......I got it! An absolute steaming pile of horse shit! Yes, thats it.

I've taken about the same amount of men and women to court for family violence, so NO, it's not always the man. Grimace says otherwise and when it comes to men, nobody knows more.

If the light was yellow, we wouldn't be having this conversation. If the light was green, we also wouldn't be having this conversation. Im so lonely 2/3rds of the time......sniff.

Cops know you pay taxes and that your taxes pay cops' salaries. Cops also pay taxes, which also pay cops' salaries so, hey, this penalty notice is on me. Do not protest by saying, "I pay your taxes." You don't, I pay my taxes. This is more confusing than a red_zook soliloquy. What the fark did you just say?

Police Officers... our job is to protect your arse, by spending more time and money cracking down on traffic infringements than arresting criminals. If there was revenue in arse kissing, rest assured, we'd be doing it!

Thank You,
from The Police FORCE

No really, thank you.

Fixed.

Very entertaining , Ive met some absalute bar steward coppers, and some rely great coppers. Wold be a hard job though, my brother in law is a copper, first week of dutiesm he was spat at chucked over, got threated with a broken bear bottle, and tustles with several mebers of the public, I dont think its all roses fro them they do a great job 95% of the time. #Rofl

Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 5:43 am

99.99% of coppers do a great job! half the time they have trouble putting up with tools..... some of which frequent boards like this Wink

It is often a thankless job and they cop (no pun intended) a lot of crap from people. I don't envy them at all.

Joined: 29 Nov 2004 Location: Townsville

j-top paj wrote:

v840 wrote:

Frankeh wrote:

If the light was yellow, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

I beg to differ. I got pulled over on the way to work one morning (around 3am) for "running an orange light". Cops words.

I explained that I thought going through an orange was legal and he said that it was only legal if you could not stop safely before it turned red. I told him that it was news to me, which it was, and apologized. He let me off.

great story hey, Im sure it was cool enough for Cops.

i got pulled over by a stormtrooper once for the same thing.
i had to ask him twice if he said orange or red, and he said at an orange light you must stop Confused

so i asked him why dont they just have a red light and a green light?
he didnt like that question and just replied with "i dont make the law, i am the law" Rolling Eyes

and got back on his bike.

"I couldn't safely stop with you right up my ass officer...."

Joined: 05 Feb 2005 Location: Check your six.

TJF

Joined: 13 Dec 2004 Location: Sunny Coast, Queensland

RoadNazi wrote:

TJF

TJF ???

Tell it to the Judge you Farkwit ?

Joined: 23 Mar 2006 Location: Nepean

j-top paj wrote:

i got pulled over by a stormtrooper once for the same thing.
i had to ask him twice if he said orange or red, and he said at an orange light you must stop Confused

so i asked him why dont they just have a red light and a green light?
he didnt like that question and just replied with "i dont make the law, i am the law" Rolling Eyes

and got back on his bike.

[img]http://img.engadget.com/common/images/3060000000047058.JPG?0.4388713501827787[/img]

doesn't the yellow mean stop (unless you can't safely)?

unless you follow the Starman driving rules

green, go
red, stop
yellow, go very fast

Joined: 12 Dec 2002 Location: Wangaratta

The best bit about this thread is that v840 finally made with the funnay... armsup

Joined: 22 Oct 2002 Location: Your Mummas House!

GOLD changes V840!!

Must be US, no police chopper in Brisbane Laughing

Joined: 25 Oct 2003 Location: Melbourne Australia

Simo63 wrote:

RoadNazi wrote:

TJF

TJF ???

Tell it to the Judge you Farkwit ?

"The Job's F....d."

Joined: 27 Feb 2008 Location: Here, there, everywhere!

Joined: 05 Aug 2004 Location: VIC

bj on roids wrote:

Must be US, no police chopper in Brisbane Laughing

Police chopper?

Joined: 01 Mar 2007 Location: Brisneyland

v840 wrote:

Frankeh wrote:

Dear Civilian,

...

Thank You,
from The Police FORCE

No really, thank you.

Fixed.

Gold! (Apart from a couple of 1st/3rd person mix-ups...)

Joined: 18 Apr 2005 Location: Shitney

Things that will not happen to you as a Prison Officer

You will never be promoted on ability.

You will never receive plaudits for a job well done.

You will never have your opinion valued by Executives.

You will never be valued above inmates.

You will never be asked for your opinion no matters affecting your welfare.

You will not attend training days pertinent to your job.

You will not give a hoot about stealing others overtime.

You will not be trusted by the department.

You will not be popular with the rest of society.

You will not receive the ongoing training promised by the department.

You will not be on a level playing field.

You will not go home thinking you have accomplished anything meaningful.

You will not score with the young officers.

You will not be believed when writing your memos of the department.

You will not be allowed to question the judgement of Executives.

You will not have the video camera prior to an incident (you will be asked to explain why)

You will not believe rosters is above board.

You will not be looked after by the department after critical incidents.

You will not be save from poor decision making.

Things that will happen to you as a Prison Officer

You will be accused of stealing other Officers overtime

You will be treated like a 3rd class citizen when you start, mostly from those just in front of you by way of service

You will see that no departmental cap or akubra, suits anyone

You will become instantly knackered, the moment you accept a double shift

You suddenly start to volunteer for everything

You will take note that level playing field and fair suck of the sav, are not recognised terminology within the department

You know that the words Coffee and International Roast do not belong in the same sentence

You have never enjoyed jam on toast as much in your life

You realise to gain promotion, do not work in a Gaol

You realise the Roster Clerk is God

You become obsessed with your roster

You become obsessed with everyone elses roster

You know to the second how much leave you have

You go into abject panic along with 3000 other Officers if you dont have your new diary at the beginning of December

You put in for courses at the Academy that you have no idea about, just for a day out

You will stand in open mouthed slack jawed disbelieve at the recent promotions

You will see some of the ugliest puerile people ever imaginable, and then you will see the crims

You will hear the same war stories told by different people, making you realise there must have been 500 officers on duty that day

You suddenly become the primary carer for every family member within a 5000klm radius

Joined: 31 May 2005 Location: Sydney

love_mud wrote:

The best bit about this thread is that v840 finally made with the funnay... armsup

The combination of 3 hours sleep and 12 beers finally got me over the line...... armsup

Joined: 19 Jan 2005 Location: townsville

dear police force.

in reply to your letter to the Civilians of the world.

i would just like to say a few words.

As much as i understand your job forces you to deal with morons.
You bring alot of what is mentioned in your letter on to your self.

When my younger brothers car was stolen from our front yard, you took 6 hours to arrive, then tell us there is nothing you can do.

when you pulled me over in my MK2 ford escort, you claimed that

1: my rear brakes where leaking fluid. (yet these brakes are barely 3 weeks old) infact you didn't back off untill i was prepared to disassemble my brake on the side of the road to prove it.
2: you also claimed i had a huge oil leak on my gearbox. seems as though you can't tell the differnce between an oil leak and GLOSS BLACK VHT DRIVE LINE PAINT.
3: the female officer with you took me to the front of my car a told me, and i quote, "you have oil coming out of this thing"...... that thing was my BRAKE MASTER CYLINDER, if oil was coming out of it, my brakes would have been that . i wouldn't have been able to stop for you.
4: you tell me my exhaust was to loud, and give me ticket for it. when i had it tested the next day, IT WAS 7db UNDER THE LIMIT FOR A CAR THAT AGE.
5:you missed my ilegaly modified gearbox crossmember i had used to do the auto to manual swap.
6: you the fact my reverse lights were switched by a toggle switch on the dash and not by the switch on the gearbox.
7: you missed the fact that this car had in the past had turret cut that was poorly weled and not certified in anyway at all.

the above are all true

If you spent more time PATROLING THE STREETS you presence alone would deter more people from breaking the law then any chopper ever could. you would then need less choppers in the air to find these people.
you said it your self. some people don't even realise the chopper is there

you'll find that when you pull some over to defect the car they drive, they'll be less pissed off IF YOU ACTUALY FINE THEM FOR SOMETHING THAT IS WRONG WITH THEIR CAR.

FIND THE GUY THAT STOLE MY BROTHERS CAR.
THEY KEEP STEELING CARS BECAUSE YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

Joined: 08 Jul 2007 Location: bris

brad-chevlux wrote:

dear police force.

in reply to your letter to the Civilians of the world.

i would just like to say a few words.

As much as i understand your job forces you to deal with morons.
You bring alot of what is mentioned in your letter on to your self.

When my younger brothers car was stolen from our front yard, you took 6 hours to arrive, then tell us there is nothing you can do.

when you pulled me over in my MK2 ford escort, you claimed that

1: my rear brakes where leaking fluid. (yet these brakes are barely 3 weeks old) infact you didn't back off untill i was prepared to disassemble my brake on the side of the road to prove it.
2: you also claimed i had a huge oil leak on my gearbox. seems as though you can't tell the differnce between an oil leak and GLOSS BLACK VHT DRIVE LINE PAINT.
3: the female officer with you took me to the front of my car a told me, and i quote, "you have oil coming out of this thing"...... that thing was my BRAKE MASTER CYLINDER, if oil was coming out of it, my brakes would have been that . i wouldn't have been able to stop for you.
4: you tell me my exhaust was to loud, and give me ticket for it. when i had it tested the next day, IT WAS 7db UNDER THE LIMIT FOR A CAR THAT AGE.
5:you missed my ilegaly modified gearbox crossmember i had used to do the auto to manual swap.
6: you the fact my reverse lights were switched by a toggle switch on the dash and not by the switch on the gearbox.
7: you missed the fact that this car had in the past had turret cut that was poorly weled and not certified in anyway at all.

the above are all true

If you spent more time PATROLING THE STREETS you presence alone would deter more people from breaking the law then any chopper ever could. you would then need less choppers in the air to find these people.
you said it your self. some people don't even realise the chopper is there

you'll find that when you pull some over to defect the car they drive, they'll be less pissed off IF YOU ACTUALY FINE THEM FOR SOMETHING THAT IS WRONG WITH THEIR CAR.

FIND THE GUY THAT STOLE MY BROTHERS CAR.
THEY KEEP STEELING CARS BECAUSE YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

If your car was leaking anything that’s good enough, there job is not to disassemble your illegally modified car to check for problems with dodgy welding seriously get real! Maybe the domestic Violence’s they attend are more important or the mob of teenagers bashing each other at the local park did you ever think about that? Maybe they just attended a high speed car crash where someone was dead then they have to go and deal with some idiot acting shity with them over nothing!

I thank all police, they do there job as well as they can and I hold them in the highest respect and hope to become a officer in the future.

Thankyou Police!